Ramblings From Rexburg

2008-11-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

I realize for someone who seldom "posts" this is pretty random, but knowing my children the way I do, I just had to hurry and post this!!!! ENJOY!

Subject: The Public Restroom

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWNthere was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOWwhat kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDEDit??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

2008-10-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

2008-10-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

More Family

2008-10-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

Trip to Seattle

2008-10-05T10:39:00.001-07:00

Bomp and Annie

2008-10-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

2008-06-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

2008-06-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

2008-06-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

2008-06-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

Steamboat Springs

2008-06-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

Wedding

2008-06-17T20:49:00.001-07:00

The Wedding!

2008-06-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have some time to update my blog! I know, I know, what excuse could I possibly have and who cares anyway? right? In any case I just took a bunch of photos at Hilary and Johnny's wedding and decided the best and easiest way to share them would be on the blog.
Last Tuesday, Cari Z,Mandi, Cassie and myself all headed to Steamboat Springs, Colorado to assist with the wedding preparations for Hilary's big day. I was not prepared for how much fun culinary work could actually be. Anyone that knows me very well at all knows that "culinary" and "Mary Ann" do not belong in the same sentence. (Not in a good way, anyway). So you're probably as surprised as I was to find out that Laurel actually requested my help at all. But, since her cooking skills are similar to mine, she needed me along for the camaraderie and empathy as much as anything else, I'm assuming. The big surprise was that we combined our ability to 'take orders' with Johnny's family cooking/entertaining/organizing skills and we had a fantastic time together! Hilary has married into an exceptionally nice family and stands to have an exciting life in Steamboat Springs. Johnny is a local "celebrity" and is very well-liked among the locals we met. The property they have purchased to build their house on is fantastic and the area around Steamboat is nothing short of 'breathtaking'! It's similar in beauty to Jackson Hole I would say, but I actually liked the city itself better.
The wedding and the reception were spectacular and Dale did a very nice job as the official wedding minister. Laurel said one of the groomsmen actually complimented Dale on the ceremony and told him how much he enjoyed what he said about the "sanctity" of marriage. How often does that happen - not often! Good Job Dale!
Second only to the extravaganza of Hilary's wedding, was the welcome surprise of a very large 'Mustang Rally' being held the day of the wedding right there in downtown Steamboat. Needless to say, Glenn was in "hog heaven". There were more mustangs than I think I've seen in a lifetime. While there were a number of Shelbys similar to the one we lay claim to, there was not a single one that had air conditioning like ours. I guess there were so few of those made that it was even more rare than we knew at the time. Oh well, so much for the things that might have been.........
Another nice surprise occurred while we were wandering through the mustangs, and that was we ran into Ashley and Scott Campbell! We had no idea they were coming so it was nice to spend some time getting caught up with them and their lives. We really do need to make more of an effort to get together as a family. Just because mom and dad can no longer orchestrate it, that is no excuse for not doing it. Despite of how seldom we might see one another, we always seem to enjoy one another's company - at least I think we do! We probably enjoy one another more than other people do. How about that?
The husbands and children joined us later in the week along with Adam and Katie, Michael and Ann Marie, and David and Anna and children. It was fun to see everyone.
Thomas and Kricket assumed responsibility for grandma and grandpa and all was well with them.
Our house is coming along and should probably be all closed in by the middle of July. It consumes Glenn's time every morning before he goes to work, but I think he is enjoying it a little bit. Alex is working with him and I hope their relationship is strengthened, not damaged by the experience. HA! Stephen spends a significant amount of time helping as well, and we would be in trouble without him. So life goes on here in the "burg" and I will try once again to be more regular.
P.S.
Ashley, you do not have to have a baby to Blog, so please join in!

Snow

2008-02-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

Finally

2008-02-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

WEll the school, with their infinite wisdom, has decided to let me access my blog today so I thought I would use this time before the students get here to "ramble" a little about the happenings here in the land of snow. AND I do mean snow! We were out of school yesterday(Feb. 7) and last Friday too. It seems like the days they actually let us stay home, the sun shines and the wind is calm, but hey, who's complaining - NOT ME! Thomas and Alex used the time yesterday to shovel snow off the the Bake's and Stephen's roofs. They have been telling people to stay off their roofs due to the danger and that IF they need to get the snow removed, they should find someone with the proper equipment and skills. THOMAS AND ALEX???????? Well they both survived and I don't know what they actually did at Stephen's but they did an excellent piece of work for the Bake's and had some fun doing it. I used the time to get a little organization in my life, although you wouldn't know it by looking. Then I went to P&Z last night which always seems to get me stirred up, not matter how simple and straight forward the agenda items are, there are members of the commission that insist upon making them controversial, drawn out, and frustrating. Last night I took a new approach and shared my feelings about this and asked that we not belabor every point and the chairman actully made a big deal of thanking me for keeping us on track and reminding us that our personal biases have no place in our decision making process. Wow
Thomas and I attended the historic democratic caucus Tuesday night. I say "historic" because there were almost 200 people there, and in all the years I've attended these there has never been more than 30 people and they were mostly family members(Porter offspring) So imagine my surprise at finding Matt Zollinger there along with several of my former Gifted students and their parents. I don't know what that says about the connection between I.Q. and political affiliation but given the fact that I only work with the top 3% of the student population and the high representation they and their parents had at this gathering, I'm sure it means something. The other amazing thing was that we will be sending 1 delegate for Hillary Clinton. I think that will surprise many people, especially if they are aware of our official designation as the "Reddest" county in the United States.
Mom and Dad have had a pretty rough week. Mom fell and cracked her head open again and she has been in a lot of pain with her back which makes it difficult or impossible to stand. Dad has had trouble breathing and Jeff has got him using a nebulizer every four hours which seems to help with the breathing. Mom cannot figure out how to put the albuterol in the mechanism inspite of all the tutorials we have given her so one of us will have to be there, I'm afraid to keep it going. Mom's attitude is always positive and she laughs at herself without reservation. Dad's is not horrible all things considered, so we just do the best we can for them.
For those of you that don't know, Pearl Hepworth died the same day as President Hinckley, making dad the oldest living member of the 8th ward. He is sure that he can die now - as it is his turn.

Beans & Annie

2007-11-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

Trick-or-Treating

2007-11-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Since Annie is the only grandchild (and the only "skunk") to come Trick-or-Treating at my house, I have to post a picture. I'm sure my other 4 grandchildren were equally cute and I'm hoping they post photos! I also had a very cute octopus come to see me and her photo is posted on Chris and Dawns blog.

Wow! Stephen is joining the "bloggers"

2007-10-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, if Stephen and Cari are joining the blogger fun, it's time for the Mounts to get 'back in the game',and I'm sure everyone is anxious to know my side of every story that they might share.
Anyway, it seems only fair when so much enjoyment is derived from reading everyone elses blogs.
For those of you that may not know, the Mounts Family Home has been sold and with the help of the Zollinger family and a few ward members they have finally removed 27 years of "stuff" from every nook and cranny in the house. It was a monumental task, even for Mary Ann who definitely knows how to throw things away. Just ask anyone that currently lives with her or ever has. Just this last month she managed to throw away a hospitol check for Cassie, and a brand new, never been worn, $60 shirt that she purchased for herself. (Glenn found the check stuck in the bottom of Grandma's garbage can, but the shirt is somewhere at the Rexburg landfill)
The young couple that purchased the house has moved in and are anxiously awaiting the day when Glenn will have the belongings moved out of the garage as well. Glenn is not really wanting Mary Ann to help much with this project as he places a higher value on "his stuff" than he fears she would.
Most of their belongings are in storage and the rest are in their new apt in grandpa and grandma's basement or in their garage waiting to be sorted through. Yes, they have had some frustrating moments wondering where things are, but they are "muddling through". Amazing how grateful one can be in this modern day to just have ones own washer and dryer when you've gone all summer carrying the laundry up and down the street from one house to another. Grandpa was pretty upset when Glenn started cutting the hole for the dryer vent - he yelled at him from the bathroom window, "Don't you cut one more hole in this house or I'll call the police!" Glenn stopped what he was doing and explained WHAT he was up to and grandpa let him finish. Mary Ann is refusing to leave the ironing board that grandpa built-in for her at their house, so that was actually written into the purchase agreement. Glenn is a little stressed about how to remove it, but Mary Ann is insisting.
Yesterday was grandpa's 91st birthday, for any of you that are keeping track. When we went up to wish him a Happy Birthday yesterday morning, he asked us how old he was. Glenn asked him how old he thought he was to which he replied, I'm 80. " When Glenn told him that grandma just turned 81, he decided he must be 83. Remember when grandpa Zollinger(Mary Ann's Grandpa) told Aunt Raya to alert the newsapaper that he had turned 95? When she asked him why he replied with, "Well, you know I just want it run up the flag pole to see if anyone salutes!" When the current Grandpa Z found out he was 91, his reply was, "Oh my achin back, I better go back to bed."
Every morning as Mary Ann leaves for work now, she stops to make sure the "ole folks" have the fireplace turned on(grandpa loves it more than he loves "mama" and is mad when it goes off) If they are awake mom always asks , "now, how did you do that?" Like there is some sort of magic to flipping the switch form 'off' to 'heat'. The other day Mary Ann came home and the house was so hot you couldn't breathe. They had the temperature set at 91!(which should be impossible to do, I agree) Grandma was hot, frustrated, and contemplating opening the windows, but grandpa was contentedly sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him.
The most important function the basement tenants perform is picking grandma up when she falls, especially in the middle of the night. It is nothing short of miraculous that she has not broken any bones! She just "knocks 3 times" on the ceiling and one of them goes running - they take turns. Glenn is very good natured about it all!!!!!
Grandma has finally given up driving and grandpa has finally consented to letting the Mounts park their car in the garage. That was quite a battle! Grandpa told Mary Ann, "don't you know that the cruelest thing a woman can ever do to a man is to take away their car?" "It doesn't matter if it's being driven or not."
Anyway, life is anything but dull and everyday is a new adventure. more often.

Babysitting and Graduation

2007-05-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well we survived the 9 days of babysitting the Johnson Children whose current ages are 4,3,2, and 1. No, that is not a misprint, they are 4,3,2,and 1!!! I think it's more difficult in some ways than quadruplets! Anyway, we managed to take them to Jungle Gyms, Hogle Zoo, 2 baseball games, (Larkin and cousin Ethan are on the same baseball team) and the Dinosaur Museum. The power went out for a brief time while we were there and when we called David to get his advice, Anna was overheard in the background telling David to "get us a hotel room, but don't invite them to spend the night over here." That might give you an idea of how people that know them and love them feel about the ease of caring for them. Seriously, Anna was very helpful and went above and beyond the call of duty to feed us dinner one night and take Larkin early to the baseball games. We didn't lose any of the children and we only lost the dog, Sadie, one time. After much prayer and significant personal restraint we are happy to report that all four children survived the ordeal virtually unscathed and unharmed. We were happy to see Katie, Adam, and little Ali on Saturday afternoon. They stayed as long as they could and it was very nice to have an outside opinion about the situation we were in. It was also nice to see how well-behaved and tame Ali appears to be. Adam probably doesn't deserve this, but I'm sure Katie does. It was also nice to visit with Laurel and she actually showed Larkin how to get the dog to sit on her command. That was the first things Larkin wanted to show and tell when her parents got home.
Michael and Ann Marie had a wonderful time in Ecuador doing humanitarian aide for the church. Michael was a great teacher and will be welcomed back anytime they can find another babysitter for their children. Don't everyone volunteer at once.
The next Thursday Glenn and I returned to the scene of the crime for Cassie's graduation . It's official - she has her Master's and is now a Nurse Practitioner. I think she may have the honor of being Grandma and Grandpa's first grandchild to have their Master's Degree. Anyway, we are very proud of her and she has worked extremely hard for this honor. She finished all 6 years with a 3.8 grade average - a real chip off the ol' block, wouldn't you say? HA HA
Paul is busy interviewing for Jobs and weighing his options. He's in Denver today interviewing with Halliburton and will be interviewing with another company later this week in SLC. I am just hoping that they don't end up too far away.
Thomas is working everyday to improve his new house and having fun with his little girl Annie. She is a good baby and, like Adam, he is lucky he got her. Kricket has gone back to school so life is hectic but good for them, as many of you can relate with.
Grandma and grandpa are just chuggin along - grandma always has a good attitude and she still walks at the track most days. Yes, she is still driving, but not too much. She is having her eyes operated on tomorrow, she may not even need her infamous glasses they say.
Hope all is well with everyone and I will write again soon.

The Johnson's

2007-04-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Sawyer

2007-04-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

What's Happening April 18

2007-04-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

I thought this might be a good way to keep everyone updated on "life with crapa (as Larkin affectionately refers to grandpa) and grandma" as well as life in the "burg" with Glenn and Mary Ann.

You'll be happy to know that since Stephen and I are the official caretakers that we are also the most unpopular. Last week, Grandpa accused me of having taken everything he owns; including, but not limited to, his ranch. No one ever told me he had a 'ranch'. Have you guys been holding out on me? Then last night he asked me what I was going to do about the college closing. I tried to ignore the question, but grandma continues to try to correct him so they got into a little spat about whether or not the college was on its way out. They claimed that Stephen has not been over to visit for 2 days and wondered if he was out of town. It seems to me that they relish his visits more than mine, which tells you just how far 'OFF' they really are.

Keith and Elizabeth arrived this last weekend for school. They are both living at the same apt complex and sharing a pickup. Reminds me of the days when Joe, Laurel, and me all lived at the University Villa. Those were the days!!!!!! Keith had a great mission it sounds like and although he's not sure about being back here in Rexburg, we're sure it's the right place to be and I'm equally sure that Joey, Andy, and Adam can all relate with how he is feeling right now. Maybe you should drop him a line and let him know that everything will turn out for the best.

Glenn and I are getting ready to spend this next week tending Ann Marie's 4 children while she and Michael do church service in Ecuador. Michael has been brushing up on his Spanish and Ann Marie is not sure if it's worth it some days. I'm sure it will be a great experience and that Michael will be a superb teacher. New born resuscitation training is one of President Hinckley's 5 humanitarian initiatives and that is what they'll be working on. I have no doubt that they'll have fun, but I'm a little worried about us - I hope we survive 9 days with 4 children age 4 and under!!!!!

annie and cousin elizabeth

2007-04-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

annie's hair fashions

2007-04-11T13:22:00.000-07:00